Election News Roundup, Volume 3 : First Presidential Debate

Election News Roundup, Volume 3 : First Presidential Debate
– Calvin and Susie Derkins argue for 90 minutes in front of 84 million viewers. No one cares
– Uncle Max and Miss Wormwood not allowed to participate in debates – because they are secondary characters
– Calvin and Hobbes both make an appearance, as one half each of the two Trumps
– Susie studies all day before the debate. Calvin spends the day before playing Calvinball. Accused of being unprepared for the test
– Calvin uses the word ‘braggadocious’ during the debate. Millions of Americans finally learn their first new word in years
– Calvin accused by Susie of not paying taxes. Defends it by invoking freedom of religion and his age
– Susie accuses Calvin of calling women pigs, slobs, and dogs, goes on to tell a story about a former beauty pageant contestant that Calvin called “Miss Piggy” and “Miss Housekeeping”. Calvin defends it by invoking the rules of G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS)
– Calvin and Susie fight over who was the first to be against the war in Iraq after they both were for the war in Iraq. No one cares again
– Calvin complains about Susie publishing her report on ISIS online. Wants to save his report for show and tell
– Calvin accuses Susie of not supporting Law & Order and wants to bring it back. NBC begins talks to bring it back for Season 21
– Susie asked about her private email server. Calvin says he sent his tax returns to Susie by email
– Both Calvin and Susie are asked if they would support the outcome of the election. Susie says Yes. Calvin says: “I’m just selective about the reality I accept.



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